Last week I shared something that might have rubbed a few people the wrong way.
Most of the times, teams don’t have a performance problem.
They actually have a trust problem.
And a bunch of you were thinking the same fair question:
“Okay Jason. So how do I actually build it?”
Today I’ll tell you how trust is built.
Trust is not a mood.
It doesn’t shows up when everybody is nice to each other.
It gets built in a specific order, and once you can see the order, you can build it on purpose.
Here’s the order:
Connection → Commitment → Accountability → Trust.
Let me walk you through it the way I lived it.
It starts with connection.
I’ll start it with my daughter’s example.
When my daughter was two, I started taking her to a donut shop every Friday morning before daycare.
At first it was just me watching her lick the frosting off her donut and make a mess of herself.
But week after week, those Fridays turned into real conversations, and we built a bond that nothing can shake.
That is connection.
Small, regular acts of building attachment, a kind of ground everything else stands on.
I had an airman in my squadron who was very quiet. Barely said a word. She was sharp, capable and quiet, but one day over coffee she told me she was thinking about leaving the military. And I was surprised because I thought everything was all good.
The work was fine. What wore her down was that in all her time in our squadron, nobody had ever asked her who she was beyond her job title.
So I asked. Then I sat quiet and I listened.
That one conversation kept her in for at least four more years.
Connection Creates Commitment
When people feel connected to you, they commit. They start carrying the mission like it belongs to them, because by then it does.
This is the BIGGEST step most leaders skip. They demand commitment before they’ve built any connection. And then wonder why their team does the bare minimum.
Commitment Makes Accountability Possible
Once someone is committed, they no longer need to be held accountable by others.
They begin to hold themselves accountable.
Now you can ask more of them.
You can have the hard conversations. Because they already know you see them as a person, and accountability feels like respect not attack.
Accountability Produces Trust
And that is what finally produces trust.
That’s the real kind of trust, where your people tell you the truth, raise the problem while it is still small, and have your back when everything is on the line.
Connection. Commitment. Accountability. Trust.
You build the first link, then the next, then the next.
There is no shortcut to the end of that chain.
Your One Step This Week
Now here’s how you can start building trust in a team today:
Pick one person on your team.
Have one conversation that has nothing to do with their tasks.
Ask who they are, what they are working toward, and what is getting in their way.
Then listen like it matters, because it does.
That is the first link. Start there.
And share this with that one person you think needs it.
Blue Skies, Fair Winds, and All The Best
P.S. Still collecting names for this newsletter. A few of last week’s suggestions are real contenders, so keep them coming. And if you have that one conversation this week, hit reply and tell me how it went. I read every response.
P.P.S. My new book, No Fail Trust, launches on Aug 25. Click HERE to learn more about the book. Pre-orders are open.
See if Jason is the Right Speaker for your next Event
If you’re looking for a military keynote speaker who delivers substance, not spectacle, someone whose stories are real and whose framework is proven and actionable, Jason O. Harris is available for corporate events, association conferences, leadership retreats, and government audiences.
Visit jasonoharris.com/speaking to download Jason’s speaker packet, view his demo reel, and submit a booking inquiry. Or reach Jason directly at Jason@NoFailTrust.com.
